Phil Bredesen
From WikiPenia
(This entire article is in need of citation, as it is strongly suspected to be a pack of shameless lies.)
Phil Bredesen is the charismatic and virile Governor of the State of Tennessee. Sporting the manifest indicia of mature wisdom and a hairstyle which looks like a dessert, this giant of leadership stands as a beacon of hope from coast to coast. Often seen glad-handing the 'constitchency' with bombast, he also enjoys a quiet afternoon swaying in his rocker on the porch of the Governor's Mansion, glass of sweet tea in hand, scratching Stonewall, his loyal Bluetick behind the ears.
Ever a champion of the liberties which made this country great, the Governor avidly exercises his right to bear arms. He may be seen of an ordinary workday carrying out the Business of the People with his prized and well-maintained .30-06 rifle "The Will of Dixie" slung in a holster at his hip. When asked in a 2005 interview if this arrangement was at all cumbersome, Governor Bredesen admitted that "stairs do present a problem", but the inconveniences are not so great as to deter him from wearing the firearm at all times. It would appear that this is not just for show, as more than one source has confirmed that the Governor could "shoot the beard off'n a tom turkey at seven hundred yards".
Governor Bredesen is known for his insightful candor, and once drew a comparison between the sudden "hit and run" thunderstorms that beset Tennessee in the Summer and the unpredictable and often turbulent nature of the state's Legislative process. Embodying country wit and easy charm, Governor Bredesen is a well-liked and well-respected representative.
Words of Wisdom
- "I don't have to turn a pig wrong-side out to know he's full of pork."
- "A lobbyist with principles is like a Skunk Ape; thought to be fictional, almost never seen, and doesn't quite smell right when found."
- "Let us be reckless in progress, but careful in method."
- "To interfere with your defensive rights is to be complicit in tyranny."
